you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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