Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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