how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
