There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
