I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
