Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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