I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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