Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
