Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
ugly people sure do ruin things
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
