so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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