I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
