I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
