I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
