It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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