they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
