When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
