That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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