But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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