sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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