you win again, gameday.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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