Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
