why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
