Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
did i walk over a car last night?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
