Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Someone shit on the floor
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
