i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
