I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
