I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
