bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
my shit smells like andre
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
