Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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