Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
