My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
pray to the hookup gods
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
