Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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