if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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