I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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