hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
