go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
