I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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