That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
