I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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