I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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