I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
so much tequila, so little girl.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
