I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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