tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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