Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
