My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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