I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just found puke in my bra..
It's never too late to be topless.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
