so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
