Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
