I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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