glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
