Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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