i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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