I wanna bring you to show and tell
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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