I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
