where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
