I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
